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I love when you leave me,

Thinking I'll be upset

But all I am really

Is free. No more your pet.

I love being alone

Far from you, your sweet eyes.

No reason to be down

Far from your charming lies.

I love having no news,

And not giving any.

Okay I didn't choose

But damn I am happy!

I love having the choice

To find my true lover.

Perhaps I've got no Royce

But way more to give her!

This is not a love song, don't get me wrong.

This is a mother fucking hatred song!

I love how it's easy

To forget you for good.

You're a bad memory

Here to kill my good mood!

I love meeting new chicks

Way way hotter than you.

I can send you some pics

If you don't think it's true.

I love thinking you're sad

And not feeling so great.

Yeah I'm being quite bad

But afterwards regret...

I love this thing we had

And am a bit confused,

Trying to be just glad.

Yet I'm still feeling used.

I hate feeling shitty,

When you make me love you

And at the end tell me

"I am not meant for you."

03-12-14

Don't know what to say,

Don't know what to do,

Don't know who to pray,

Do not have a clue.

Need a goal in life,

A reason to live.

Perhaps need a wife.

Need a damn to give.

I'm lost. To lose lost lost. Not a loser, just a regular guy with too many directions ahead of him and a choice to make. Don't want to stay where I am but I am still a lil' bit frightened by the unknown in front of me. What will I discover? Who will I meet? Who will I become? Questions, always questions. So answers, where the fuck are you? Excuse my language, I didn't mean to be rude, but you know how it is. It's sunny outside, I am sure some people would see it as a sign. Too bad I'm not like them, life could be easier. There's a plan for everyone and bla and bla and bla. That kind of bullshit. Right now I'm alone and I have to find my way, I have to.You know how it is. You don't? Me neither. I...

Don't know what to say,

Don't know what to do,

Don't know who to pray,

Do not have a clue.

Need a goal in life,

A reason to live.

Perhaps need a wife.

Need a damn to give.

I can copy people, I sure can. But it doesn't make any sense to me. I need to do something I want, in my way. The only problem is: which way am I talking about? When I was a kid I used to think life was easy. In fact, it is when you're a child. Then you grow up. You have to be someone, to deal with shitty stuff, to face problems and still be smiling. I'm clearly a bad actor. I hope I'm not a bad human being. I enjoy my days thanks to my family and my friends but that's not it. It's not enough. Sorry for them but it's true. I'm sure they understand, perhaps they feel the same way. Always that fuck*ng way. But now I just...

Don't know what to say,

Don't know what to do,

Don't know who to pray,

Do not have a clue.

Need a goal in life,

A reason to live.

Perhaps need a wife.

Need a damn to give.

08-08-13

Do not leave me alone.

Why don't you leave me alone?

You hurt me so bad, insane...

I hope someday you'll be gone.

For now you beat up my brain.

I'm not sure you understand.

I know you just want to play

But these days you're my worst friend

'cause you're with me everyday.

Hey! Oh! You motherfucker! (x2)

Hell yeah! You motherfucker!

Why don't you meet someone else?

We do not fit together.

Stop coming back when I'm stressed

Or I will call a doctor.

Well, do you see what I mean?

You're not welcome anymore.

Just go away with my spleen

And never knock to my door.

Hey! Oh! You motherfucker! (x2)

Hell yeah! You motherfucker!

To my headache...

27-03-12

Sometimes I think about you. I miss you B.B. Sometimes I think about your parents and your brother. What if it wasn’t you? What if the crazy driver was somewhere else? What if it never happened? What if? I imagine you living today. Life changed and is still changing. You would probably be scared of the world we’re living in. I’m not anymore the little bond guy you knew. You are nothing today, nothing more than a memory in few spirits. That is why sometimes I think about you. I am sorry, I never go to your grave. It reminds me a bad moment. Or perhaps it’s because I don’t have time. I am not sure we can call me a friend. But, you know, if I talk about you today, it probably means something. And no, I’m not doing it for me. I’m doing it for you. I don’t want to seem to be a nice guy, I prefer show you were. I’m a student now and if you were still alive, I’m not sure you would be. You were not very intellectual, you were more manual. No offense! You were generous, funny, optimist, strong. You were a very good friend. Actually, you were one of my bests. You are dead now.

My dear old friend

I lost my words

When came you end.

My dear old mate,

As you can see,

Sad is our fate!

I know life moves on, me too… but tonight, I’m thinking about you and I miss you. So long B.B. I had to update my old text because I find it too childish. I’ll keep it because it is how I felt a little while after you death. Here is what I feel now. It is easy to talk to you, hard to talk to your mother and to your brother. Your dad, as you probably already know, is with you now. I hope you prepared his arrival. I don’t know when we’ll see each other again but I’m not too impatient. I just hope we’ll still be friend up there. Do you know when I think about you? Does-it make you come back from your world? If so, I am sure you have spent all the evening and the night by my side. I’ll stop my text here because I need to sleep now. Tomorrow I’ll go back to work. I want you to know that you’ll never be gone since you’re somewhere in my mind. I’ll try to join you in heaven: hope I can! Well, see you B.B.

(06-06-11)